ON A SUNNY EVENING
On a purple, sun-shot evening
Under wide-flowering chestnut trees
Upon the threshold full of dust
Yesterday, today, the days are all like these.
Trees flower forth in beauty,
Lovely too their very wood all gnarled and old
That I am half afraid to peer
Into their crowns of green and gold.
The sun has made a veil of gold
So lovely that my body aches.
Above, the heavens shriek with blue
Convinced I've smiled by some mistake.
The world's abloom and seems to smile.
I want to fly but where, how high?
If in barbed wire, things can bloom
Why couldn't I? I will not die!
--Anonymous, 1944
I commented on: Christian's, Erik's, Melanie A, Juan's, and Kiana
Good Afternoon, Gabe! After analyzing your Butterfly, I have been able to extract some of its strongpoints as well as your weak points. One thing I did enjoy about your Butterfly was its capturing of the Poet's optimism. By using the quote "I will not die!" as a feature, you have conveyed the Poet's emotions near perfectly. I also appreciate your inclusion of the Poet's dreams of "Chestnut Trees" and a "Sun with a veil of gold". However, there were some downfalls. I was able to notice quite a few grammatical errors in your explanations, such as the spelling of words such as "Poem" in your Barbed Wire explanation. The second flaw in your Butterfly I had noticed was the lack of color coding for each link. This is made noticeable by the color coding for both Poetry analysis as well as Butterfly analysis. Overall, I found your Butterfly rather organized and enjoyable, despite the minor flaws I had noticed. I commend you for your work.
ReplyDeleteI have this same poem! I like this butterfly for its visuals and how you drew them to represent how they were stuck in a camp not being able to leave for a very long time. One thing that I got out of this was that when I was making my butterfly I could've made the visuals more about representing the poem than just in general. It would of been nice if you added a few quotes from your poem to make it more tied in with your poem but overall good Butterfly!
ReplyDeleteHey Gabe, I want to start of by saying what a great way to represent you poem. I had some things I like about you butterfly, and some suggestions I would like to offer you. For starters, I give you props using bright colors, it really brings out the butterfly better. Also, you gave a vivid example of the sun shining on the forest. One suggestion that I have is that you should make the sun shine on the prisoner like in the poem. All in all, you did a phenomenal job.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good butterfly, Gabe. Straight to the point, your details are on point. The colors you used surely brought out the poem and the poets optimism. It's very neat and vivid. When there's great parts, there's suggestions. and I suggest that you should've put in some quotes to put your poem with your butterfly.
ReplyDeleteGabe this is a great butterfly. There are good things and some flaws on your butterfly that I would like to point out, but first the good things. I like the colors that you chose to put on the butterfly the colors that you chose really helped me get a good grasp of your butterfly and they also explain what the poem is about. I really like the drawings that you drew on your butterfly. Now on to the flaws I would like to see a little bit more drawings on your butterfly and a little bit more color you should've added color were you drew man. Other than that you did a good job on making your butterfly.
ReplyDeleteGood job Gabe! I liked all the symbolism your butterfly portryed. For your tags I felt like you didn't explain enough what the tags meant. This could easily be fixed by analyzing more. One thing I really liked was the sun in the corner.because when you included the line of how its a veil you can see why when its in the corner it looks down on everything and drapes it. Something else I also noticed was that
ReplyDeleteHello Gabe, I liked the way you created your butterfly with its texture and visuals. The way you used the quote, “Trees flower forth in beauty, Lovely too, their very wood all gnarled and old.” was impressive as the cardboard made the trees you drew appear a bit realistic with the pattern cardboard has. Another thing that was interesting is how you drew in a prisoner behind barbed wire fences to represent how the author of the poem badly wanted to escape the concentration camps. One suggestion I have for you is that you choose a different color for tags about why you used this type of material. Other than that, Your poem looks great.
ReplyDeleteHello Gabe, Your butterfly looks well done, it looks like you spent a lot of time doing it, I noticed this because the colors look well done, the tags are excellent. I also saw that your butterfly reflects on your poem, such as the trees, and the sun that are present in your butterfly, and the poem. The only problem I see is that I don't see a head on the butterfly, but besides that, everything else is good.
ReplyDelete